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Playing a Gal Game with Your Little Sister Is to Collect Data
“Now, let’s start immediately!” said Himuro Mai, arrogantly tapping herself on the chest.
I, Nagami Yuu, was already a bit fed up, and I gave her a “So I’m the one doing it, huh?” in response. At school, she’s normally the ‘Ice Queen’, a cool beauty who nobody dares to approach. Whenever she’s with me, though, she’s always this energetic. It’s actually quite troublesome. Our rather unfortunate relationship of being classmates is also supported by yet another reason. Both her and I are professional light novel authors. And she’s a very enthusiastic fan of my novel.
“Of course! Weren’t you the one who said you wanted to collect data on how it feels to play a game with somebody else? I’m doing you a favor here, so no complaining.”
“You just tagged along without asking, so don’t act like you’re helping!”
“W-What about it?! It’s you who’s collecting data for your next volume of your super-popular series, so of course I can’t let this chance slip away!”
Or so she says, but her cheeks were a faint red, and she was writing something in the cursed notebook entitled ‘Nagami Yuu research notes’… That’s a bit too enthusiastic, if you ask me.
“Mai’s right, desu!”
A blonde-haired glamorous beauty spoke up from next to us.
“I am Sensei’s number one partner after all, desu! I’d be more than happy to help you collect data! But, instead of this all-ages game, could I maybe recommend this R18 one over here?”
Seeing that she was about to pick up a very dangerous item, I quickly stopped her. These looks, well-endowed chest, and rather tall stature belonged to the illustrator of my light novel, Ahegao Double Peace-sensei. She’s also a professional illustrator at an eroge company, and is of English nationality; a full-fledged foreigner. She loves anything perverted, and even her full name is way too dangerous to pronounce in public. According to her: “It’s a wonderful Japanese word combining both erotica and pleasure with despair, desu!” or something. Just like Mai, she’s also a fan of my novel on top of being the illustrator of it, but she’s a bothersome individual on an entirely different level than Mai.
“Hey! Don’t just lightly say ‘number one’ and whatnot! Yuu is giving his number ones and first times all to me, after all!”
“Your desire to monopolize is as strong as ever, I see, desu. But I won’t let go of my seat as Sensei’s partner!”
While the two of them waged a rather mysterious war of words, I let out a sigh. From an outsider’s perspective, this might look like two beauties were fighting for me, but it really isn’t all that glamorous or anything… Especially because—
When I turned around after hearing that voice, I found my little sister, Nagami Suzuka, staring at me. She had looks and gestures that make even me, her older brother, think that she looks cute. But her expression was painted in displeasure.
…Yeah, I know what you want to tell me…
“…I’ll prepare some tea, so could you help me, Onii-chan?”
Feeling intense pressure being emitted from her small stature, I nodded honestly. You might think that I’m pathetic for acting like that towards my middle school third-year little sister, but this is the power balance in our relationship. I was dragged away by Suzuka, and we left the other two alone and headed to the kitchen.
“…What exactly is this about?”
Suzuka glared at me, looking disgruntled from the bottom of her heart.
“I mean, I didn’t expect Double Peace-sensei to just come here and bring a gal game with her…”
“That’s one thing, but Onii-chan was the one who brought them home, right?”
“You know that Mai isn’t going to step down that easily, right? And I just happened to meet Double Peace-sensei on my way home by chance…”
“…Haaah, it’s my fault. I should just have anticipated that they would try everything to cling to Onii-chan, as usual.” Suzuka said as she put one hand to her forehead. “Why does it always end up like this…? Just when I thought that Onii-chan and I could be alone together… Why are there always beautiful girls around him…?”
I can’t hear you if you whisper like that…
“…Onii-chan, are you aware of our goal for today?”
“O-Of course? You want to collect data on a scene where the siblings play a game together, right?”
“Right now, though, you’re just ogling Himuro-san and Double Peace-san all the time. Aren’t you a lucky one, being surrounded by beauties all the time?”
“This is all for your sake… Also, they’re not interested in me as a person, so I can’t exactly be happy about that…”
“Hmph… Onii-chan, you are my stand-in, right? Pull yourself together a bit more.”
She said what she always does.
…That’s right, I’m her stand-in. The super-popular light novel author isn’t me, but her. This very diligent little sister of mine, who basically knows nothing about otaku culture, managed to sell 300.000 copies with her debut novel. She’s a monster as a newbie to the scene: Towano Chikai. A lot happened, and I ended up becoming her stand-in, though I’m nothing more than a fake. That’s why I know that they’re not fawning over me, but rather the title that I have.
But no matter how often I tell Suzuka this, she just averts her face with a pout. Why?
“…I’m trying my best here to make sure that they don’t find out, you know?”
I myself haven’t made it further than applying for light novel contests. I’m just an aspiring light novel author. I’m working this hard right now for her sake, so cut me some slack, okay?
“…I know. I know that Onii-chan isn’t to blame here. But it’s because you’re acting so lovestruck…”
“…Hey, if you’re not feeling it, should we just cancel it today? There’s no use to it if we can’t collect any data, right?”
“No, I can’t allow myself to stop here. This is way too vexing.”
“But Double Peace-sensei even wants to play a gal game now…”
“That reminds me. I just looked it
up, but a gal game is about capturing girls, right? That really
sounds like a perfect game for Onii-chan.”
“What do you mean by that?!”
“It means that it’s a game where you can let out all your desires.”
Suzuka’s eyes were pure-white as she looked at me. Why do I have to act like a representative of all men so suddenly…?
“A-Anyway, since that’s how it is, I feel like we should try again some other day.”
“…It’s true that I can’t allow Onii-chan to chase after some other girl, even if it’s inside a game. But this is also a chance to find out about Onii-chan’s tastes…”
“What was that about my tastes?”
“N-Nothing! My deadline is close, so I have to do this now or it’ll never get done. I won’t allow the two of them to interrupt my precious time with Onii—No! I won’t allow them to bother us during our data gathering!”
…I don’t really understand why she’s suddenly so red, but it means that we’re not stopping this, huh? Hence, as Suzuka’s stand-in, all I can do now is help her. Specifically, by playing this gal game…
The two of us returned to the living room with the tea, and I was immediately forced to sit down in front of the TV. This really is punishment, being surrounded by beauties like this and forced to play gal games…
“Come on, hurry up and start already. This won’t be very useful research if it’s like this.”
“You’re way too honest with your desires!”
“R-Researching you has priority over everything else!”
“Don’t make it worse than what you’re trying to fix! I get it already! I’ll do it, so sit back down!”
I quickly shot Mai down and mentally prepared myself as I booted up the game.
“You don’t need to watch the opening, right? Let’s just skip this…”
I wanted to get this over as quickly as possible, so I’ll take the shortest route.
“…First is the character name. Well, the default name should be fine.”
“Hold on a second,” Mai suddenly stopped me. “What are you talking about? You’re going to put in your own name.”
“Huh?! Why would I?!”
“It’s to make this playthrough as realistic as possible, desu!”
“I don’t get it! Why do we need it to be more realistic?!”
“We’ll have you become the character and find out about your taste in women.”
“Right. I’d love to use this opportunity to find out about Sensei’s fetishes.”
What are you talking about…? Suzuka, help me…
“Good idea. Let’s do that.”
“Why are you agreeing with them?!”
I tried to protest, but Suzuka shot me down. “Please hurry up,” she said, and a feeling of despair assaulted me.
Again, what did I do to deserve this punishment…?
“…Nagami… Yuu… Look, this is fine, right?!”
…Damn it, I have no choice but to clear it as quickly as possible!
Thus, the game started.
“…Ummm, what is this now? The protagonist is an average boy who just started attending a high school, and he’s trying to get a girlfriend.”
Doesn’t really match up with my own desires. After all, all I care about is writing an interesting light novel.
“Oh, someone’s coming.”
On the screen, the smiling face of a girl appeared, her hair braided together into twintails.
“It seems like this is the protagonist’s little sister.”
Oh right, this scene is still happening at home. She’s calling the protagonist ‘Onii-chan’ as well, so she’s a little sister character.
“…………A little sister.”
“Hm? Did you say something, Suzuka?”
“No, it was nothing.”
…Huh? Was it just my imagination?
In the meantime, the game moved forward, and the different heroines that you could try to conquer appeared.
“Hmm. There’s five heroines in total. A childhood friend, a classmate, a member of the track-and-field club, a Senpai from the arts club, and the student council president. Apparently, this game even has an extra character to boot,” Mai commented as she looked at the manual.
“Well, it’s pretty orthodox I guess.”
Five distorted icons for each of the heroines appeared on the screen. Apparently, by choosing here, I would take a step forward on their route.
“So, which heroine do you want to bite first with your poisonous fangs, desu?”
“Stop with that already! You’re making me sound like some sort of playboy!”
“Ah, excuse me. Which one do you want to rape first, desu?”
“You’re not making it any better!”
“…Onii-chan, are you thinking about such obscene things…?”
“Hold on! Why am I the bad guy now?!”
“Now now, we all know that Yuu’s an ero devil. That aside—”
“Don’t just rub it in and move on like that!”
“Who cares? Right now, it’s about which heroine you want to conquer first, right?”
…Ugh, she’s right. I’ve just gotta take a deep breath and calm down. Trying to fight against them doesn’t work, anyway… not even in my own house, haha…
“So which heroine are you going to pick?”
“Ahhhh… I guess the childhood friend for now? She has this main heroine feeling to her.”
Just when I was about to click on the icon of the childhood friend, Mai suddenly grabbed my arm.
“Wait, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What are you on about now?”
“The childhood friend attribute is totally out right now. Spoiler alert, but she totally feels like a sub heroine.”
“Now that you mention it…”
I found myself agreeing with the pro light novel author side of Mai.
“…But that still doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t pick her, right?”
“T-Those characters are common in every script! How about you try for something special?”
Why are you so desperate?
“Well, if you’re so adamant about it… I guess I’ll take the track-and-field heroine then—”
“That’s also no good. They might look like they’re all clean and proper, but aren’t that easy to catch in the end.”
“That’s nothing more than prejudice! Whatever, this arts club Senpai should be fine—”
“The mysterious characters often have dark personalities, which can make the writing pretty heavy.”
“That’s just your subjective opinion speaking right there!”
“I-It’s all objective here! Also, the student council president might seem like the perfect type, but if she follows the typical pattern, she’s going to be all weak if it’s just the two of you, so she’s a no-go as well!”
“This sounds like false accusations to me! How would you know that?!”
“That being said, the only character left is the classmate! O-Only through the process of elimination though, and it’s certainly not because I’m your classmate, so don’t get the wrong idea, okay?!”
What is this empty feeling inside of me? Seeing her desperate, flushed cheeks in front of me certainly is cute. That’s the school’s top beauty for you. But… no, maybe because of that? It’s making me feel restless.
“Mai, that’s a bit unfair, don’t you think, desu?”
“O-Of course not. This is just my opinion, nothing more!”
“Hmmm, Mai is truly a tsundere, desu. Just like the little sister-san!”
“I-I’ve told you countless times that I’m not a tsundere or whatever it’s called…”
Double Peace-sensei and Suzuka were exchanging a dubious conversation, and I lost all the energy to try and reply. In the end, I gave up and selected the classmate, just as Mai had wished for… I can already feel that this is going to end up very tiresome.
“Ummm… Apparently, the protagonist is trying to greet her right now.”
“That’s going to be an important flag, I’d assume. It really is touching.”
“Why are you in such a good mood?”
Suzuka, on the other hand, seemed immensely displeased. I knew without having to turn around that she was glaring at me.
“………Oh, there are some choices.”
Three choices appeared on the screen when the protagonist was about to call out to the heroine.
- Good morning. It’s a pleasant day, isn’t it?
- This might be a bit sudden, but can you tell me your phone number, email, and address right now?
- Can I just skip this and hug you?
“…W-What are these choices?! There’s nothing here to choose aside from (1)—”
“Gotta be (3), desu.”
I barely stopped myself from dropping the controller out of shock.
“Eh? Number (2) is normal, right?”
Mai tilted her head in confusion as if I was the one that was saying something weird.
“Sensei, you have to take (3) here, desu. Rather, there wasn’t any need for any choices. You should have just grabbed her and assaulted her in the gym storage room.”
“This isn’t some weird eroge, right?! Also, even if it was an eroge, such a crazy development wouldn’t happen either?!”
“I think that the time has come for gal games to fundamentally change and start being like that, desu.”
“But certainly not that kind of change!”
“When I do them, I immediately add a sex scene with the heroine right at the beginning though, desu?”
“Well yes, Sensei makes fiendish rape-types of games, after all…”
Giving up on replying completely now, I concentrated on the game. I moved the cursor over (1) and—
“…Mai. Why are you stopping me…?”
“Just choose (2) already.”
“Why!? There’s no way that some random classmate asking you for the rights to invade their privacy would create a love flag!”
“How naive. Don’t you know? Heroines in gal games already have a flag raised before the game starts. To be frank, they’re existences that are made to be conquered!”
“Who cares about that?!”
“Anyway, you can just go straight for her. In the end, she’s still interested in the protagonist, no matter what.”
“I-I wonder about that…”
Since Mai was so confident, I gave in and chose (2)—
The heroine is actually playing along, gleefully telling the protagonist everything?!
“Hehe, just as I told you.”
“I-I can’t believe it… To think that there’s character who’s the perfect representation of Mai…”
“So Onii-chan is the type to ask these questions to a woman he’s never met before…”
“This is a game! I wouldn’t do that in real life!”
For someone like me, an otaku boy who has never had a girlfriend in his life, I can’t even muster up the courage to talk to a girl normally…!
Well, aside from Mai.
“…Yuu? Were you thinking something rude just then?”
“O-Of course not?! Forget that! Look at the two of them! They’re getting all friendly all of a sudden!”
The protagonist and heroine were gleefully talking with each other. They already planned a date on the next holiday, so this seemed to be a rather quick route.
It was the morning of the date. While the protagonist was doing preparations, the little sister called out to him.
“Onii-chan? You’re going on a date? That girl seems a bit weird, so be careful, okay?”
“So this girl is worried about Onii-chan. The perfect example of a little sister. I can’t agree more.”
For some reason, Suzuka was nodding to herself as she agreed with the onscreen little sister.
“I’m worried about Onii-chan, okay?! I’m worried that you might be deceived by some bad woman!”
“What an honest girl. If only I could say that, as well…”
Suzuka continued her muttering, but I was too busy with my own thoughts to continue reading.
…I wish that my little sister would worry about me like that as well. All I get is constant criticism all the time.
“…Onii-chan? You’re listening, right? Just like the little sister is saying, you have to cancel that date.”
“But… There aren’t any choices…”
As a player, you can’t overcome god’s (the developer’s) path that they’ve paved for you.
“Hold on, Suzuka–san. Why does he have to cancel the date?”
“T-That’s… A person who describes every single bit of personal information during your first meeting is definitely really weird.”
Yeah, I agree. But Mai just said “That’s a bit different.” She puffed out her chest proudly. I really wonder where she’s getting that weird confidence from?
“It’s only natural for you to want to know everything about the person you like. That’s why the heroine’s reaction is perfectly normal.”
“I-Is that so…?”
“Don’t just make things up!”
Mai was overflowing with confidence, so Suzuka was a bit overwhelmed. My little sister is as pure as it gets, so give her any weird ideas!
“Also, since this is a game, the heroines are designed to act like they’re lovestruck as quickly as possible.”
“Why are you metagaming again?!”
When they used weird reasoning that was difficult to deny, Suzuka, who had absolutely no knowledge in that field, could only stay quiet. In the meantime, the protagonist in the game just said “Don’t worry” to the little sister, and left for his date.
“O-Onii-chan?! What is this about! Why are you just ignoring the advice of your little sister?!”
“This guy is doing it on his own!”
I didn’t want to go, either! But if I don’t have any options, I can’t do anything about it!
Suzuka continued to glare at me, but I couldn’t help it. Anyway, the protagonist went to meet up with the heroine, and they headed out to Akihabara for their date. At first glance, that’s what it looked like, but…
“Coming to Akiba is great and all, but why is the heroine buying a hidden camera…?”
“It’s probably a present. That shows that she has great affection for you!”
“Only someone like you would be happy about a present like that!”
Also, I don’t want any affection from her if it she gives me that kind of present!
“Ah, I know. I also prepared a present like that! Here.”
Saying this, Mai handed me what looked like a pendant.
“A pendant with high-quality sound recording mechanisms! If I know what you’re doing all the time, I can even move forward with my research—”
Not showing any hesitation, I kobe’d the pendant straight into the garbage can.
“Ahh?! What are you doing! I just bought that yesterday in Akiba!”
“Don’t worry. Trash day is tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to send it off to the incinerator.”
“D-Don’t do that! It’s just to record some things, and I even told you about it ahead of time!”
“You’ve really turned into a full-fledged stalker!”
Mai got teary eyes and she cried as she said “Don’t call me a stalker!”, but I ignored her this time. It’s only a waste of effort to try and put up with her, after all. In the game, the shopping trip ended, then…
“Hey, do you want to come to my house after this?”
“H-He’s getting invited to her house already?!”
“Heh, this heroine is keen on winning early. Of course we’re going!”
“O-Onii-chan, have you forgotten the advice of your little sister?!”
From how the playthrough was looking victorious so far, it would make sense that I would go, but what is this weird premonition that I have?! Thankfully, choices appeared this time, so I would just have to pick the safest one—
- Of course I’m going
- Of course I want to push you down right here
“Do your job and think of some good choices!!!”
“Sensei, you have to chose (2) here for sure, desu…”
“I’ll take (1)!”
I quickly denied any sort of protest on Double Peace-sensei’s part. Still, I really wished I could’ve made another choice!
“An ero event in front of hundreds of people is a very important event though, desu…”
“Don’t forget that this is an all-ages version of the game!”
“So Onii-chan really is a predator. He’s agreeing with this so quickly…”
“I didn’t have any other choices here, okay?!”
This game is definitely really weird!
Anyway, the protagonist was led inside the heroine’s room, and now they were drinking some tea.
“Inviting a boy in her room when she lives alone. This girl is serious!”
“That’s great, but why exactly did she lock the door when they entered…?”
They were having a normal conversation for a while, but the atmosphere started to change. It wasn’t a rosy, fluffy atmosphere like before a sex scene. Rather, it was an oppressing, devilish mood.
“You see, I want to know everything about you. How many breads have you eaten in your life, how many mosquitos you’ve killed so far, everything. Fufu.”
“S-Scary?! Her eyes are scary! And the BGM changed?!”
“She wants to know everything about the person she likes… I feel that.”
“This isn’t the time to be showing empathy!”
Even the protagonist had realized that something was off, and he took his distance from the heroine. And choices! The second I saw ‘(1) Run away’ flash up, I didn’t even bother reading the other ones. I immediately selected that. But…
“W-What?! His body won’t move?!”
The protagonist’s body twitched, and he collapsed on the floor, the heroine slowly approaching him. The protagonist quickly realized that he was getting sleepy.
“Why are you running? Do you hate me? No way… If you don’t want me, then I don’t care anymore…”
While saying these kinds of risky things, the heroine pulled a knife out from somewhere. While standing on top of the protagonist—
That sound played, the screen turned red, and shortly after, the words ‘DEAD END’ appeared.
When I looked to my side, even Mai was unable to process what had just happened, and she just blankly stared at the screen. Shortly after, though, she noticed that I was looking at her, and…
“N-No! I would never do something like that!” she screamed at me with teary eyes.
…Well, you know…
Without saying anything, I slowly backed away from Mai, which resulted in her screaming out “I told you you’re wrong!”, but let’s just ignore her. Yeah.
“If you had listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened…”
Suzuka grumbled to herself, and I could only agree. When I returned to the main menu, I went to check the scene gallery, only to find that all the CGs for the classmate heroine’s route were complete.
“T-That’s the true end?! Is it really fine to have that in a gal game…?!”
“Now now, Sensei, let’s just pick a different heroine now, desu.”
“Eh? W-We’re going to continue?!”
“Of course we are, desu. This is for Sensei to collect data, right? Finishing one route is far from enough, I say!”
“This game gives me really bad vibes, though!”
While saying that, I looked over at Suzuka. Though her face was still agitated, she gave a quiet nod.
Y-You want to continue? Well, since it’s the true author saying so, as the stand-in, I don’t have any other option but to keep playing.
“…So, which heroine should we pursue now?”
After returning to the screen where I could choose the heroine, I asked everyone else about it with a serious expression on my face. This game is weird. If possible, I’d really like to go for a safe heroine…
“Sensei, I’d like you to try and conquer this heroine next, desu!”
She pointed to the Senpai of the arts club.
“Why is that?”
“I feel a certain level of commonality emanating from her, desu!”
So basically, I should probably be prepared to go through something similar, or even worse than what I’ve already gone through. That being said, denying her gleeful and expectant smile was too tough for me, so I picked the Senpai heroine.
“…Umm, apparently, this Senpai is considered as a genius artist.”
“Sounds nice, desu! Those kinds of pure characters are great for catharsis!”
“Can you hold back your eroge point of view for five minutes?!”
We progressed through the game, and the protagonist ended up bumping into the Senpai in the hallway. That’s stereotypical… even a bit plain, to be honest.
“Eh? We get choices here?”
“Ohh! Apparently, the protagonist accidentally speaks his thoughts out loud, desu.”
- What a beautiful person…
- What a cute person…
- What an erotic person…
“Number (3) please, desu.”
“Well, I figured as much…”
“Eh? Is there anything else to pick here besides (3)?”
“So let me ask, why does it have to be (3) then?! This is their first meeting, so doesn’t this make the protagonist look like some perverted bastard?!”
“Sensei just doesn’t understand, desu! That genius beautiful Senpai is already used to being called beautiful and cute! That’s why you need to shower her with some different kind of praise!”
“So being called erotic would be considered you, Sensei… Normally, that’d just be sexual harassment…”
“Of course, I wouldn’t be happy if just anybody told me that. But I would be delighted if it was Sensei, desu!”
“Don’t glare at me! I’ve never once said anything like that!”
“Trust me! Pick number 3, desu!”
After some hesitation, I picked choice (3). After I did, the Senpai said “This is the first time somebody has ever said that to me.” Her cheeks were flushed for some reason.
“Why would that raise her affection?!”
“Fu fu fu, with this, you’ll surely understand that being called erotic and sexy are words of praise, desu.”
“…So you talk to women that way, Onii-chan…?”
“It’s not my fault! This game is at fault here!”
“Please refrain from doing that in broad daylight. I don’t want a family member to be accused of being a sex offender.”
“Listen to people when they try to explain things!”
Still, what’s going on with this heroine? It’s no wonder that Double Peace-sensei felt some weird level of connection with her…
I was starting to feel worn out, but the game continued moving forward. Apparently, as a result of the previous encounter, the protagonist was growing even closer to the Senpai. During their time together, it became apparent that the Senpai had something that was plaguing her, though the player wasn’t given exact details. The main character and the Senpai decided to go on a date on a holiday. This route really is moving along pretty quickly.
“Jeez, Onii-chan gets friendly so quickly with women. Learn to be a bit more careful, will you?”
“…Umm, Suzuka-san? I feel like you’re seeing the protagonist of this game as a depiction of myself, so could you maybe not…?”
“I personally think that this fits Onii-chan pretty well.”
What do you mean by that?! I’d love to live a life where I could raise flags this quickly!
Anyway, the location of the date turned out to be an eroge shop in Akiba for some reason.
“O-Onii-chan? I-I just heard something about eroge. You can’t go to any perverted places, okay?!”
“Exactly! Really, Onii-chan is just…! Of all the places, why a shop with all these indecent games!”
“Even I’m surprised! An eroge shop of all places for a date is just ridiculous!”
The little sister character turned away and pouted. “You’re not an adult yet, so you can’t go to any grown-up places, okay?”
“That’s a little sister for you… Without her, Onii-chan would be completely helpless…”
“Yeah, it feels like I’m being healed…”
In the midst of all these crazy characters, the existence of this little sister was my only beacon of hope.
“So listen to your little sister’s words! Cancel the date right now.”
“That can’t do, Imouto-san.”
Before I could answer, Double Peace-sensei got the jump on me.
“An adolescent boy has certain interests in perverted things, you know, desu.”
“B-But Onii-chan is a sleeping wolf, so if he went to any obscene places, he might just…”
…Hey, I know you’re worried about me, but why do you have to paint me in such a negative light all the time? Also, Suzuka, I feel like you’re seeing the protagonist in the game and me as the exact same person. Would you mind explaining that?
“It’s just going to an eroge store together. Didn’t you yourself go there with Sensei before, desu?”
Suzuka swallowed her words. After all, Double Peace-sensei was completely right. Also, that was just to collect data for Suzuka’s novel, so don’t get the wrong idea.
“Ah, I see how it is. Imouto-san is a tsundere, so even if it’s in a game, you wouldn’t want Sensei to be lovey-dovey with someone. That would make you feel jealous. Right, desu?”
Suzuka’s voice and mine overlapped.
“O-Of coursh not! There’s no way that I would harbor any feelingsh for Onii-shan…!”
Suzuka started adamantly denying it.
…Makes sense to me. You wouldn’t want any weird misunderstandings to get out if it’s me we’re talking about.
“Double Peace-sensei, please don’t make jokes like that. At least not with Suzuka.”
She hates me, after all…
“Reality isn’t a light novel or an eroge, so there’s no way that Suzuka would harbor any feelings like that, right?” I continued.
“…Y-Yes, that’s correct.”
For some reason, though, Suzuka instead started glaring at me with a super disgruntled expression on her face. Why? Did I say something wrong?
In the meantime, the protagonist and the Senpai had arrived at the eroge shop. While looking around, the Senpai muttered an astonished “This feels like a different world…”
“Eroge really are like a door to another world. Eroge are the universe, desu!” the eroge maker happily commented.
The only saving grace was that the scene went by rather quickly and without any problems. I might have gotten PTSD if I was stabbed again. The game progressed to the following day. The Senpai was sitting in front of a blank canvas, a conflicted expression on her face.
“She’s probably unsure what she should draw right now. But the protagonist should already know the answer to that, desu!”
Almost as if it was in response to her words, three choices appeared.
- I think you should just draw something perverted.
- Let’s draw something perverted.
- Draw something perverted!
“What are these choices?!?!?”
“This is the illusion of choice, desu!”
Hell if I care! I’ll just pick (1) and get this over with!
When I did, the Senpai said “That’s right!”, and her eyes looked like she realized something important.
“It seems that the heroine safely managed to find her own way, desu! Yes, the noble path of perverted drawings!”
I don’t really care anymore…
“Onii-chan… That person is starting to draw something on the canvas,” Suzuka stated, and I saw that the Senpai heroine had indeed started to draw.
“Hold on, is she actually going to draw them?!”
The drawing was finished in no time, and the heroine turned over the canvas to show the finished product to the protagonist.
Hey hey! Are you telling me that they added eroge CG in an all-ages version?!
Just in case, I went to cover Suzuka’s eyes with my hands, but…
“…Huh? The screen suddenly went black?”
W-Was it the wrong choice? No, the text box is still shown?
“Hm? The scenario is probably moving forward, desu?”
Just as Double Peace-sensei stated, the dialogue between the protagonist and the heroine was still continuing in said text box.
“W-What’s going on…? Don’t tell me…”
A certain possibility rose up in my head. To turn an eroge into an all-ages version, you would have to cut the R18 parts. So maybe, the scene is playing in the background, but you need the R18 patch to actually see it…?
“Ohh! It seems like a sex scene is coming up, desu!”
“…No, hold on?! This is an all-ages version, right?! And the screen is still black…!”
That being said, the text was indicating that the scene was moving forward. If that really happens, there’s no way I could have Suzuka look at that, even if it’s just the text!
…And then, while I was panicking, it happened.
‘You can continue this scene in the R18 version.’
Those words suddenly appeared on the screen, leaving me confused. I mean, this is even worse than I expected!
“I see. That’s how they planned it, desu. Sensei, let’s start up the R18 version.”
“Of course not!”
Once again, a scream escaped my lips.
“Why, desu?! I can’t just let it end there!”
“That doesn’t mean that we can start playing the R18 version in front of my little sister, of all people!”
“Okay, I understand, desu! I’ll take care of it myself then!” said Double Peace-sensei. She took out a small sketchbook and started flipping through the pages.
“Hold on, you’re not going to draw something right here, are you?!”
“Of course I am, desu! I’m an erotic painter, you know?! If I’m dissatisfied, I’ll do it myself!”
“I don’t care about that! Just don’t start drawing R18 stuff in a place like this!”
I slammed shut the sketchbook in her hands to her from going berserk. I can’t have Suzuka seeing this stuff!
“Hmph, then what should I do about my excessive libido, desu…?!”
At times like this, I just have to change the topic.
“Nevermind that! What’s wrong with this game?! Look, the route for the Senpai is also 100% complete! As if it could end with that?!”
“No no no, the R18 version and the all-ages version were released at the same time, and the evaluation online was amazing, you know. The reviews said stuff like ‘A classic booby trap’ and ‘A timeless shit-game, desu!”
“What’s going on with games nowadays?!”
As far as things stood, this game seemed to be even worse than I had anticipated. I should have prepared myself for something of this level, seeing as it was Double Peace-sensei who had brought it with her…
“So, Sensei. Which character are you going to conquer next, desu?”
Mai suddenly suddenly asked me something after spending a long time quietly scribbling into her notebook.
“W-We’re not done yet?!”
“Of course not. We’re going to conquer every character so that I can research your taste in girls even more. That’s the main goal for today.”
“Conquer every character my ass! The goal is to collect data for my next volume!”
Since my head was seriously starting to hurt, I looked over at Suzuka with a “Can I stop now?” gaze.
“We haven’t finished everything yet, so we have to carry it on to completion. Otherwise, the data might be incomplete, Onii-chan.”
…Shit, you damned perfectionist! That being said, I have to continue if she really wants me to.
“…I get it already. I’ll play it to the very end.”
“Please do. And also… You haven’t played the little sister’s route yet…”
“…You said something?”
“N-No, I just commented that doing something half-baked isn’t good, yes.”
The others also agreed with Suzuka. It’s vexing, but it’s my job as a stand-in, so I can’t help it.
“All that’s left is the childhood friend, the track-and field club member, and the student council president, huh…”
At this point, I can only see the different heroines as landmines. I still have to get through this, so I might as well go through it as fast as I can.
In the end, they all were good-for-nothings. The childhood friend turned out to be an alien, and the protagonist got wrapped up in some intergalactic war or whatever. The track-and-field club member suddenly got really into military training and caused another world war. The student council president turned out to be a leader of an organization that ruled the underworld, and she brought everything to ruin.
“It’s finally done…!”
Completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, I put down the controller.
“So, which heroine did you like the most?”
“Are you seriously asking me that…?”
The storyline of each route was impossible to follow, and I can’t exactly judge a character based on cuteness…
“Senseiii, you have to give a proper answer when someone asks you a question, desu.”
“I mean, I didn’t really feel any connection with any of them…”
“Listen here, you have to have a certain level of decisiveness as a light novel author.”
…Ugh, that makes it even more difficult to answer… And I’m not even a light novel author, either…
Feeling something tugging on my clothes, I turned around to find Suzuka looking up at me.
“…There’s still one character left, right?”
“…Huh? One left…?”
“L-Look, the protagonist’s little sister… I-I don’t really care about it, but it’s bad to just leave her alone like that…” Suzuka said, fidgeting.
“Ah, Imouto-san. This game doesn’t have a little sister route, though, desu.”
Double Peace-sensei dashed her hopes and dreams, just like that.
“Eh? B-But didn’t you say that
there was a hidden character? Isn’t that the little sister?”
“Not quite, desu. There’s this beautiful ghost that’s bound to one location at the school. It was announced before the release, desu!”
“Can you really call that a hidden character?!”
Also, what a strange combination…
“Thus, there’s no way to conquer the little sister!”
“Eh? Eh? Why is that…?”
Suzuka turned her questioning gaze to me.
“…Basically, she’s like a sub-character. To put it simply, a minor role.”
“A-A minor role…?! The little sister is a…?!”
…Why is that so much of a shock for you? You should feel relieved that you’re not being forced to watch me play through it. It would be hard for you, right?
“…Wait, hold on…?”
I thought back to the little sister in the game. In the midst of all those crazy, over-the-top heroines, she was the only rational character. She was calm and collected, and just seemed genuinely worried about her older brother.
When I looked over at Suzuka, I saw that she was sulking a bit. It seems like she enjoyed the little sister character the most, as well.
“She wasn’t a heroine, but I think that the little sister was the cutest.”
When she heard my words, Suzuka immediately lifted her head. Why is she so red… and her eyes are getting watery?
“What’s with that dry reaction, you two…?”
“I mean, we expected something like that.”
“Right, desu. Sensei loves little sisters, so we guessed as much.”
“Eh? L-Loves little sisters…?”
I finally understood the grave misunderstanding that they had.
“N-No?! It’s not like I chose her because she’s a little sister or anything?!”
“You don’t have to cover it up, desu.”
“Right. I mean, the title of your novel literally is ‘The story about a little sister who loves her big brother way too much to cope’, so it’s plain as day at this point.”
…Damn it, I can’t say anything against that! But it actually isn’t my novel, okay?! F-For now, I have to make sure that Suzuka doesn’t get the wrong idea!
“S-Suzuka, this is—”
I turned around, and…
“Onii-chan… says the little sister is the cutest… Ehe… Ehehehe…”
For some reason, Suzuka looked incredibly happy as she stared at the ceiling. Even when I called out to her, there was no reaction. W-What’s going on here?!
“I mean, since this is Sensei we’re talking about, the person who’s always digging his poisonous fangs into Imouto-san, so we should’ve expected this much, desu.”
“Huh?! What are you talking about?!”
“What’d you say?! Yuu! You should at least distinguish between things you can and can’t do! For example, a good thing you can do is use your fans for your own benefit!”
“You shut up as well! You’re not helping!”
I fervently denied all their accusations. At least Suzuka isn’t listening to them! Ahhh, for crying out loud! Why is everybody bad mouthing me all the time!
A single thought came to mind in that moment.
—Shit! I gotta debut as fast as I can so I can stop being her stand-in!
“Phew, today was a lot of trouble…”
I lay on my bed and hugged my pillow as I reflected on what had happened today. I had wanted to get closer to Onii-chan by trying out a new way to collect data, but Himuro-san and Double Peace-san got in the way as always… It’s clear as day that they’re interested in Onii-chan in one way or another. Onii-chan always says that it’s because he’s my stand-in, but that’s not true at all. That might have been the initial reason, but now it’s because of Onii-chan himself.
“I understand completely, because it’s the same for me. But my feelings for Onii-chan are larger than anybody else’s…”
I tightly gripped the pillow, still lost in thought. My face grew hot, and I naturally found myself rolling around on my bed.
Roll roll roll
On top of that, I let out a loose laugh. But I can’t help it. I mean, Onii-chan chose the little sister, you know? Although it was just inside a game, he said that the little sister was the cutest…
“…One day, I want to be as close as that little sister with Onii-chan…”
I recalled the little sister inside the game. She was calm and collected, honest, not too clingy, and not too cold. The perfect little sister. The complete opposite of me. I get angry often, I’m dishonest, and I’m always troubling Onii-chan.
“Haaah… Why can’t I be as cute as that little sister…?”
It’s a question I’ve asked myself countless times. Even though I’m not cute at all, Onii-chan is always so kind to me… I’m always afraid that he might start getting tired of me one day…
“…! No! T-Think positive!”
Yes. I’ve decided. Even if I can’t fix my dishonest personality, I’ll still move forward! I’ve already become a light novel author, and I’ll definitely use it to get closer to Onii-chan! My novel is a pure love story between older brother and little sister. And that little sister is modeled after myself. If I can write an even more interesting novel, Onii-chan will praise me, and I’m sure that Onii-chan will notice my feelings for him!
“My feelings for Onii-chan won’t lose against anyone!”
Muttering that, I held the pillow at arm’s length and looked at it.
…T-This is important practice for when I get married to Onii-chan one day. I just felt like doing it.
I brought my face closer to Onii-chan (Pillow). Of course… It’s k-k-k-kissing practice!”
“Onii-chan, I love—”
“Hey, Suzuka? Are you sleeping already? Can I ask you how today worked out in the—?”
Eh? W-Why is Onii-chan (the real one) in my room…? Also, did Onii-chan just see me… practicing my kisses…?!
“…Ummm…? What are you doing…?”
S-So embarrassing! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! He saw me! He saw me doing such an embarrassing thing!
“W-Were you in the middle of something…? S-Sorry! I don’t know why, but sorry!”
My face won’t move anymore because I’m so embarrassed! There is only one thing I can still say!
“D-Don’t just enter my room like that…! Onii-chan, you’re the worst!”
“Ah, I knocked, though?! But you didn’t respond…! S-Sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!”
Onii-chan hurriedly closed the door. Shortly afterwards, I heard something fall down the stairs. But who cares about that?! I’m so embarrassed I could die!
…Onii-chan, you idiot. And I’m an even bigger idiot…!
I buried my face in my pillow, trying to calm my overheating head. There was only one thing I could think of anymore.
“…Why did I do something like this, you ask…?”
Turning my face towards the place where Onii-chan just stood, I answered my own question.
“It’s because I love Onii-chan way too much to cope!”